I'm walking to the store when, you guessed it, I found a genie's lamp just a-sittin' there on the sidewalk. What would I do in that situation? I get the lamp and give it a rub. Of course, in a poof of purple-tinted smoke, a genie flies out and says something like "TEN THOUSAND YEARS HAVE I LAID IN THE LAMP! YOU HAVE RELEASED ME AND AS A REWARD YOU GET THREE WISHES." So I'm all, "Sure! I wish i could fly, I wish I had the power of telekinesis and mind control, and I wish I could dance!"
Then I waited. Then I got angry, and then i yelled "HEY! Grant my wishes already!"
To which the amused Genie replied, "I only said I'd let you have three wishes. I never said I'd grant them."
Luigi: It's-a me! Luigi! I'm-a...okay, I can't keep that up. Hi, I'm Luigi. Why not mario, you ask? Well, I'm taller! So there! Mario's a bit-erm-tied up at the moment...So please excuse any odd, muffled, sounds coming from the closet. *Slides syrup covered plate under door* "Food!" Erm, I was just feeding my...um...italian accented fly..."I'm-a MARIO!!! HELP-A ME OUT-A!!!" That fly thinks he's Mario...what a loon...Mario's over there! *points to fake card-board mannequin of Mario which says in an oddly raspy, high pitched voice,"Um...I'm-a Mario!...a...? Not Toad!!!......a...a........a?"* Shut up, Toad!...I mean...Mario...uh...heh.*nerdy gamer carrying a red bull and a .50 Cal rifle runs in*
Nerd: That isn't Mario! It's Toad!
Luigi: Yeah? Well... Uh... Screw you! Now go away, I can tell that you can't shoot that thing. Look how you're holding it. You've got the barrel pointing backward, and the bullets are taped next to the trigger!
Nerd: dot, dot, dot, question mark. Grrr...
Luigi: If you want to look threatening, take this loaded Magnum!
Nerd: ...um...thanks...*shoots at luigi, badly misses and instead shoots through closet*
Toad: Look at all that blood! you're such an idiot, Luigi! He shot Mario!
Mario: Crap! Someone shot my Hawaiian Punch!
Luigi: That was really lucky. I'm alive! Mario is even still tied up!
Mario: Hey... This expensive, one of a-kind, you'll-never-find-another-one vase is tipping dangerously close to this rack of knives...
Crash comes from closet, then shattering, the sound of ropes being cut, and, finally, Mario exits the closet.
Mario: That was a good nap! I had the strangest dream that Luigi tied me up and paid Toad to stand behind a piece of cardboard and imitate me! Then some nerd came in and shot my hawaian punch. Well, It was still only a dream. Luigi would never...what the...why do my sides have rope marks on them?...why is there a nerd with a pistol in our house? Luigi, is that...Toad standing behind a cardboard mannequin of me with his pockets bulging with cash? And why the HEck is my hawaiian punch full of shrapnel!? Wait a minute...oh my whatever-we-worship-in-the-mushroom kingdom!...LUIGI!!!!! I kill you!
And so, Mario figured out the real culprit...even though he really had no idea what was going on the entire time...not to mention he whooped Luigi's arse somethin' fierce!
The End...I think. Holy crap this
is a large font!
Whooooo-hooooo!